I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
