I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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