Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
