i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
