no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
