We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
