Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
