He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
