im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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