sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
