I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
