how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
