tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the liver wants what the liver wants
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
