My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The ass gains better be worth it
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