I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
