East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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