You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
