He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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