And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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