**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
