Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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