Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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