So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize