yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
