Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
