Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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