Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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