I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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