You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
