so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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