In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
