i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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