You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
