he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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