When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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