I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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