last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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