What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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