I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
