this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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