It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
