her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to make a zoo with you.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
