what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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