capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
