i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
