i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
