There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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