i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
