just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
