called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I look excited, but its just a facade.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
