I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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