Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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