my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
