I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
