Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am one with the molecules
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
