We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize