he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My feet surprised me
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