you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
