I'm going to jail i love you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
