quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
