All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
