if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize