Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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