He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
