I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
