i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I will pee on everything he values.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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