Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
