she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
