Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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